THE TOP 10 COOLEST AND LAMEST THINGS ABOUT WATCHMEN

No. No, I haven't seen it yet, not until Saturday at the IMAX in Lansing. But, much to the behest of my buddy Doug, I have seen a ton of previews and read a ton of reviews, and I have to admit, as much as I enjoy Zack Snyder's films (especially 300) I'm a bit concerned about WATCHMEN. Being based on perhaps the greatest graphic novel of all time, the story boards are more or less sketched out right in front of Snyder, yet, in direct response to those who deem this material un-filmable, there are a still many key elements missing, not the least of which is the entirely new ending not related to the 'giant space squid' from the book. So, as I perused this preview constructed of clips that have been released thus far, I have taken an even deeper skewed look at a movie I feel so strongly about. Okay, I understand completely that something like this is just a vast piece of literary pie, and trying to incorporate all of its ingredients into an entirely different dessert without really having a solid recipe is nearly an act of futility, but leaving out such obvious things as sugar and fruit makes for a pretty bland taste. However, on the other side of the coin, the visuals that we see here are absolutely stunning and it appears, for the most part, that the actors portraying such dynamic characters are doing a wonderful job. Even so, here are my ten love/hates for the movie I've yet to see based entirely on this clip. Enjoy.

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***** THE WATCHMEN FILM MADE FROM CLIPS FROM ALL OVER THE NET*****

10) Malin Ackerman (As Laurie Jupiter) is stunning, of this there is little to argue. However, she appears to have all the acting prowess of mayonnaise. We'll see.

9) I'm sorry, but Dan Dreiberg (Night Owl II) is supposed to be a lonely, washed-up shell f his former self with a pretty pronounced paunch. I mean this is a major bit of his character. I don't see it. 

8) Billy Crudup as Doctor Manhattan looks absolutely perfect, right down to, from what I understand, his 'hang down'.

7) Though I'm no fan of 'age make-up', I do love Carla Gugino in anything she does and here, too, as the elder Silk Spectre. However, wasn't her hair white?

6) The atmosphere created by Gibbons and Moore of an alternate 1985 looks outstanding here on the screen. Snyder really seems to have captured it.

5) Though I know that the 'Tales From The Black Freighter' will be released as a separate DVD narrated by Gerard Butler, would it have been so tough to include it in the film, even shortened?

4) Rorshach's mask. Even the concept within the comic seems almost impossible, yet, vaguely probable, especially since it's supposed to be a piece of 'chromatically living' dress fabric. The mask is, virtually, alive and looks every bit so here.

3) Conversely, I'm not too sure how I feel about Nite Owl (Dan Dreiberg's) get up. It actually seems less owl-like -and the dude LOVES him some birds- than the one from the pages. If the scene remains where he and Rorshach discover Veidt's arctic hideout, I hope that Dreiberg's 'winter gear' still looks exactly like the owl from the book. 

2) The Comedian is PERFECT. Jeffrey Dean Morgan has completely captured his look of the 'inside joke' that no one gets. Awesome.

1) Jackie Earle Haley is Rorshach. 'Nuff said.

Oh yeah, and THIS SHIT is just stunningly, absolutely, unabashedly hilarious!