Thursday, August 28, 2008


What's 'Cryptozoology' you might be asking yourself? Well, sir or ma'am, it's the study of mystery critters that either: a) haven't fully been categorized yet, b) have only managed to show up in mountain folk's backyards, c) appear in fuzzy, out-of-focus pictures, or, d) all of the above. Many people take this particular science very seriously and spend endless hours attempting to prove that there are man-eating rat-monsters living deep within the sewers of New York City. So, without further hesitation, here are the top ten of such creatures. Forward, Ho!


THE MYSTERY: From Wikipedia: The Mothman is the name given to a creature reported in the Charleston and Point Pleasant areas of West Virginia between November 12, 1966 (near Clendenin), and December 1967. Most observers describe the Mothman as a winged man-sized creature with large reflective red eyes and large moth-like wings. The creature often appeared to have no head, with its eyes set into its chest. A number of hypotheses have been presented to explain eyewitness accounts, ranging from misidentification and coincidence, to paranormal phenomena and conspiracy theories.

MY 2 CENTS: I don't find much of these mystery critters especially difficult to believe, mostly because, as a firm believer in ghosts, it's not that difficult. That being said: this Mothman deal is wacky.


THE MYSTERY: From Wikipedia: The Jersey Devil, sometimes called the Leeds Devil, is a legendary creature or cryptid said to inhabit the Pine Barrens in southern New Jersey. Many different descriptions have been offered by alleged witnesses of the creature, which are as follows:

* "It was three feet high... long black hair over its entire body, arms and hands like a monkey, face like a dog, split hooves [...] and a tail a foot long". — George Snyder, Moorestown, NJ. Sighted on January 20, 1909.[1]
* "In general appearance it resembled a giraffe... It has a long neck and from what glimpse I got of its head its features are hideous. It has wings of a fairly good size and of course in the darkness looked black. Its legs are long and somewhat slender and were held in just such a position as a swan's when it is flying...It looked to be about four feet high". — Lewis Boeger, Haddon Heights, NJ. Sighted on January 21, 1909.[1]

While the descriptions vary, several aspects remain fairly constant, such as the devil's long neck, wings and hooves. The creature is often said to have a horselike head and tail. Its reputed height varies from about three feet to more than seven feet. Many sightings report the creature to have glowing red eyes that can paralyze a man, and that it utters a high-pitched, humanlike scream.

MY 2 CENTS: Holy mother of Jeebus! Look at that thing! If I ever saw that mess I'd one AND two in my Jockeys!


THE MYSTERY: From Wikipedia: The Yeti or Abominable Snowman is an apelike animal cryptid said to inhabit the Himalaya region of Nepal and Tibet. The names Yeti and Meh-Teh are commonly used by the people indigenous to the region, and are part of their history and mythology. Nepalese have various names for Yeti like "Bonmanche" which means "wild man" or "Kangchenjunga rachyyas" which means "Kanchanjunga's demon."

The scientific community largely dismisses the Yeti as a fraud supported by legend and weak evidence, yet it remains one of the most famous creatures of cryptozoology. The Yeti can be considered a Himalayan parallel to Bigfoot (Sasquatch).

MY 2 CENTS: There is an awful lot of unexplored frozen tundra all about, so, it stands to some sort of reason that this giant, bi-pedal ape thing could exist. Besides, hundreds of bat-shit crazy observers can't be wrong, right?


From Wikipedia: A mermaid is a fictional aquatic creature that is half human, half aquatic creature (e.g. a fish or dolphin). Various cultures throughout the world have similar figures. The word is a compound of mere, the Old English word for "sea," and maid, which has retained its original sense.

Much like sirens, mermaids would sometimes sing to sailors and enchant them, distracting them from their work and causing them to walk off the deck or cause shipwrecks. Other stories would have them squeeze the life out of drowning men while trying to rescue them. They are also said to take them down to their underwater kingdoms. In Hans Christian Andersen's The Little Mermaid it is said that they forget that humans cannot breathe underwater, while others say they drown men out of spite.

Unfortunately, very few mermaid encounters of late resemble anything anywhere near a Daryl Hannah or an Ariel, which is too bad since, well, that's the kind of mermaid I'd get into a fish-human relationship with. For real!


THE MYSTERY: From Wikipedia: Mokèlé-mbèmbé: meaning "one who stops the flow of rivers" in the Lingala language, is the name given to a large water dwelling cryptid found in the legends and folklore of the Congo River basin.It is sometimes described as being a living creature and sometimes as being a spirit. It is analogous to the Loch Ness Monster in Western culture.

Several expeditions have been mounted in the hope of finding evidence of the Mokele-mbembe, though without success. Efforts have been covered in a number of books and by a number of television documentaries. The Mokele-mbembe and its associated folklore also appears in several works of fiction and popular culture.

MY 2 CENTS: Remember that movie, 'Baby' where that american couple who were also scientists went to Africa and discovered that Brontosaurus infant? Yeah, that was pretty cool.


THE MYSTERY: From Wikipedia: A long held hypothesis suggested the possibility that alien big cats at large in the United Kingdom could have been imported as part of private collections or zoos, later escaped or set free. An escaped big cat could not be reported to the authorities due to the illegality of owning and importing the animals.

The Ministry of Agriculture, Fisheries and Food decided to conduct an official investigation in 1995. The study's findings decided there was "no verifiable evidence" of exotic felines loose in Britain, and that the mauled farm animals could have been attacked by common indigenous species. The report stated that "the investigation could not prove that a 'big cat' is not present."
MY 2 CENTS: Yeah, I do so love how investigators always say, 'There was no significant evidence to blah blah blah...' What, so the better part of the town's population isn't significant enough for you? Nay-saying bastards!


THE MYSTERY: From Wikipedia: Chupacabra (also Chupacabras /tʃupa'kabɾas/, from Spanish chupar: to suck, cabra: goat; goat sucker) is a legendary cryptid rumored to inhabit parts of the Americas. It is associated more recently with sightings of an allegedly unknown animal in Puerto Rico (where these sightings were first reported), Mexico, and the United States, especially in the latter's Latin American communities. The name comes from the animal's reported habit of attacking and drinking the blood of livestock, especially goats. Physical descriptions of the creature vary. Eyewitness sightings have been claimed as early as 1990 in Puerto Rico, and have since been reported as far north as Maine, and as far south as Chile. It is supposedly a heavy creature, the size of a small bear, with a row of spines reaching from the neck to the base of the tail. Most biologists and wildlife management officials view the chupacabra as an urban legend.

My 2 CENTS: Hee hee... Goat Sucker.... he he... Ahem. Sorry. Anyway, new recent evidence suggests that the chupacabra is more like a canine with a giant, triangular head with pinted ears and snout. Either way: gross.


THE MYSTERY: From Wikipedia: The legendary animal Bigfoot or Sasquatch is alleged to be an ape-like creature inhabiting remote forests, mainly in the Pacific Northwest region of the United States and Canada. Bigfoot is usually described as a large, hairy, bipedal ape. Believers in its existence contend that such an animal, or close relatives of it, may be found around the world under different regional names, such as the Yeti of Tibet and Nepal, the Yeren of mainland China, the Orang Pendek of Indonesia, and the Yowie of Australia.

Bigfoot is one of the more famous examples of cryptozoology. The scientific community considers the Bigfoot legend to be a combination of folklore, misidentified animals, and hoaxes.

MY 2 CENTS: So, I was walking in the woods this one time and as I was busily scraping bigfoot poo off my shoe, this ginat, furry beast ambled by. I was freaked out! But then I remembered it was that homeless guy, Ed.


From Wikipedia: The giant squid (genus: Architeuthis) is a deep-ocean dwelling squid in the family Architeuthidae, represented by as many as eight species. Giant squid can grow to a tremendous size: recent estimates put the maximum size at 13 metres (43 ft) for females and 10 metres (33 ft) for males from caudal fin to the tip of the two long tentacles (second only to the colossal squid at an estimated 14 metres (46 ft), one of the largest living organisms). The mantle is about 2 metres (7 ft) long (more for females, less for males), and the length of the squid excluding its tentacles is about 5 metres (16 ft). There have been claims reported of specimens of up to 20 metres (66 ft), but no animals of such size have been scientifically documented.

MY 2 CENTS: Most recently, the giant squid have become more and more feasable and, on any given night on any one of the Discovery Networks (tonight, 9pm!) will be a show about giant squid. CALAMARI!


THE MYSTERY: From Wikipedia: The Loch Ness Monster (Nessiteras rhombopteryx) is an alleged animal, identified neither as to a family or species, purportedly inhabiting Scotland's Loch Ness. The Loch Ness Monster is one of the best-known cryptids studied by cryptozoology. Popular belief and interest in the animal have waxed and waned over the years since it came to the world's attention in 1933. Evidence of its existence is largely anecdotal, with minimal, and much disputed, photographic material and sonar readings: there has not been any physical evidence (skeletal remains, capture of a live animal, definitive tissue samples or spoor) uncovered as of 2008. Local people, and later many around the world, have affectionately referred to the animal by the diminutive Nessie (Scottish Gaelic: "Niseag") since the 1950s.

MY 2 CENTS: Here are s few of Nessies pals: The Lake Champlain monster, 'Champ', and the Lac Decaire Monster, 'Lizzie'. I'd be willing to bet that everyone seeing dino-relatives from different lakes are all just seeing the same one and they can time travel. Just about as solid a concept as anything else, right?


  1. how the **** did they get a land animals head outa water? (CHUPACABRA) they are a mexican land animal kangaroo/reptile/dog

  2. As a Brit, the authorities aren't nay saying bastards, they're just more logical than the excitable general public, if you listened to every tale about them, then you'd be led to believe that Britain was overrun with Wild Cats.

  3. Cryptid fans should check out the premiere of MONSTERS UNDERGROUND on Destination America on Friday, August 22nd at 10/9c.  
    The first episode will follow a team of four hunters into Volcano Caverns in Flagstaff, Arizona, as they search for the reptilian/bat “cave demon” known as the Olitiau.
    Future episodes will explore the dangerous caves of the American Southwest in search of cryptids including the Aswang, Mapinguari, Subterralien, and more.

    Check out a preview of MONSTERS UNDERGROUND here:


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