SPRING FEVER (From Ep: 1012 - SQUIRM)
"Spring loving BASTARD!"
9) POSTURE PALS (From Ep: 320 - THE UNEARTHLY)
"First Down and Goal to Go!"
"Tommy drew a bong!"
"Alright honey, I'm going to kill this tree if you don't stand up straight."
"Your body is like a growing tree"-"With dutch elm disease"
8) HIRED! (From Ep: 423 - BRIDE OF THE MONSTER)
'So... time for booze!'
'Maybe I shouldn't have dressed as the Angel of Death...'
'...But I don't have a car... HEY! Wait!...'
7) A DATE WITH YOUR FAMILY (From Ep: 602 - INVASION U.S.A.)
"Brother has a tight, psychological grip on junior"
"Let's go to the flow chart for this"
"Emotions are for ethnic people"
6) ALPHABET ANTICS (From Ep: 306 - DADDY-O)
'You VILL dance for me, Eva!'
5) JOHNNY AT THE FAIR (From Ep: 419 - THE REBEL SET)
- Narrator: Johnny even got to the midway for a ride, but the fun didn't last nearly long enough.
- Servo [as Narrator]: Johnny's car rolled and burned.
- Narrator: There were displays from all over the world, from countries Johnny was just learning about. Fine porcelain from France. Riches from the Orient. Silks and pearls from India.
- Joel: Simulated culture like Disneyland.
- Narrator: "No, Johnny," says Mom, "We're going to the art gallery."
- Servo [as Mom]: And you'll like it!
- Narrator: Johnny can't read the words "Chemical Wonderland".
- Joel: Oh, we've all been there.
- [An acrobat bicycles on a tightrope, balancing more acrobats on his balance rod and shoulders.]
- Joel: Boy, they're sure tough on drunk drivers in Canada.
- [Johnny watches himself jump in a distorting mirror.]
- Narrator: Afterwards, Johnny can't stop going up and down.
- Crow [as Narrator]: The drugs from the Chemical Wonderland start to kick in.
4) THE CHICKEN OF TOMORROW 1 & 2 (From Ep: 702 - THE BRUTE MAN)
- [Over the short's title screen.]
- Crow: The Bill Clinton Story!
- Servo: The chicken of tomorrow in a deadly battle against the chicken of today!
- Narrator: But wait a minute, you may be saying...
- Crow: Why am I watching this?
- Narrator: Can those chicks just out of the shell be sent without food on trips of a day, two days, even three?
- Servo: You bet!
- Narrator: Indeed they can!
- Servo [surprised]: ...Heh, I was right!
- [As a truck carrying baby chicks drives as the scene fades.]
- Mike: That guy's escaping disguised as a chicken!
- [the next scene fades in]
- Crow: Chickens!
3) KEEPING CLEAN & NEAT (From Ep: 613 - THE SINISTER URGE)
- [At the behest of the narrator, little Mildred puts away her clothes at high speed.]
- Mike: In the '50s, people responded well to authoritative disembodied voices.
- [The narrator instructs Mildred on brushing her hair.]
- Narrator: Brush, and brush, and brush — at least 100 strokes.
- Mike [as Narrator]: Just keep brushing and brushing and saying the name of our Lord and Savior!
2) A DAY AT THE FAIR (From Ep: 608 - CODE NAME DIAMOND HEAD)
- [A matronly judge unenthusiastically samples a cake.]
- Narrator: Judging cakes oughta be fun.
- Servo [as Narrator]: … but this woman sucks the joy out of it!
- [The Narrator talks about lunchtime at the fair.]
- Narrator: Over at the 4-H Booth, they get fried chicken with all the trimmings!
- Crow: (confused) What, tinsel, little lights?
- [A lady's judging a cake.]
- Narrator: First, she feels the cake...
- Crow [as Narrator]: ...then she rubs it into her hair!
1) WHY STUDY THE INDUSTRIAL ARTS? (From Ep: 609 - THE SKYDIVERS)
- [In voiceover, industrial arts nerd Joe talks about his beloved craft.]
- Joe: And you know, I like the feel of a board moving smoothly against a sharp saw.
- Mike [as Joe]: [luridly] … then I thrust the nail into the soft, yielding wood…
- Joe: I like the smell of fresh wood chips and sawdust…
- Servo [as Joe]: [nervously] I put them in my underwear!
- Joe: … the bright glare of a welder…
- Crow [as Joe]: [wobbily] I like to sneak in and lay on the table saw!
- Servo [as Joe]: Yes!
- Joe: … the sharp whine of the power tools…
- Mike [as Joe]: … the piercing scream of a freshman…
- Joe: … or the dull tap-tap of tools on leather.
- Crow [as Joe]: [wobbily] Tap ta-tap-tap… I keep Popular Mechanics under my mattress!
- Servo: The feeling of chaps with no pants!
- Joe: … A wrench …
- Mike: Let it go, man! Shop class was a long time ago! It's OVER!
- Joe:…A plane…
- Crow [as Joe]: [haltingly] These tools are my friends!
- Joe:…or a chisel…
- Servo: What about girls young man? Girls?
- Mike: No, no, chisels!